I am a Phoenix!

Reading and re-reading through the poetries, articles, stories and books about all those women who rise with the sun, emphasising the importance of shattering yet rising with a phenomenal beauty cracking, bending, tearing apart the clouds, the norms, the barriers erected, the windows shattered but still finding a way to rise merely just to shine brightest in the sky. 

I am that woman! 

Burnt alive in opinions, struggling through life just to get some air to breathe.

You think it's the end?

No my dear, me lying helpless on the ground all burnt to ashes is not the sign of your win. 

But it is the sign of a tornado which will occur the moment I rise from the ashes just like the Phoenix in the stories your mother had sung in lullabies for you. 

You might have slept listening to that lullaby but this is not a night song which will help you to sleep my dear this is a melancholy, melancholy of love and hope which is prodigious, which is rising with me, and the moment it reaches your eyes and ears it will be impossible for you to bear its intensity. Your eyes will burn, your eardrums may forget its functioning, you will start questioning about your existence and everything will turn upside down.

The moon of that night's sky will make sure to hide behind the clouds and watch me rise.

And you will keep dying, crying your heart out for someone to slash your neck in one go, so that your death will make no sound. But this woman will make sure your soul does not leave your body until and unless your sins are burnt right in front of your eyes.

This woman rising from the ashes will be a curse to your existence. You will realise that death is never peaceful to those who have their sins filled up to the brim. 

Your death will not make a sound, it will cut you into pieces every day just to let you know that blood oozes from the wounds of humans but demons like you will bleed through their sins. 

And your soul will beg for the keys to get out of your body, the prison in which it was trapped! You will forget what it is to be a man or a human or merely a creature! You will forget how your nostrils work, how your heart beats and how it demands blood. This woman will cut through your chest to split it open and will show you the sins flowing throughout your body.

Cause, 

I am the woman in the frame, I am the

Phoenix, I will burn into ashes just to tell you how powerful my death is, I will burn to destroy all the norms, I will burn to prove you that there is no blood from your wounds but just sins oozing out. I will burn to produce light which will slit your eyelids in pieces. 

I will burn to make sure you see me rise again just like a Phoenix from your mother's incomplete lullabies.

I will burn to complete the lullabies and give it an end, the part your mother had forgotten to tell you that, 

"Rising of a Phoenix will burn your sins till the last breath of your life. 

Rising of a Phoenix is the death of all sins that are alive."

The moment you die,

I will rise in the golden red sky spilling champagne all over it just to destroy the proof of your existence. 

I will celebrate the process of my rejuvenation. I will dance all day long to celebrate my win. 

I will dance on the melancholy of love and hope. I will dance on the melancholy that destroyed you!

Shruti Sawant