Empty Bucket!

Empty Bucket🤌

To what extent can something go wrong?

I mean how can you just practice "non-thinking?"

It is so difficult sometimes to let go of things.

Nope, scratch that, it is difficult almost every time to let go of things. 

You start doubting your own self. It is difficult to recognize what exactly is hurting you. Sometimes it is not the situation, it is just the feeling you had invited at that particular moment. 

Everything is connected you see, almost everything. 

There is no life without the fear of dying,

Things don't turn out well sometimes.

Uncle George taught us a very interesting thing today. 

We don't really know in what all things we lack or are left behind. We assume that we are skilled in certain things but in reality, we are not. 

The moment we realise this, it's like a tight slap in the face. We are not able to accept things easily, especially defeat.

These assumptions are dangerous sometimes. They tell you to secretly hope for things to happen and also to trust them, but they never give a slightest hint of things going wrong. 

My body is currently moving like a pendulum proving the existence of my anxiety. I am not at all proud of this hypothetical creature dwelling in me. 

But do I have a choice?

Anyways, 

Today's sunset was pretty decent, I clicked a good picture. Everytime I come to my building terrace, I decide not to take one, but I can't help it. My hands automatically start struggling for my phone.

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My brain is just shifting from one subject to the other. From the sunsets to the daily accomplishment. 

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"It is okay if you are unable to accomplish your daily plan".

You try to console your mind but somewhere deep inside, you know that it hurts. This feeling of defeat is intense. 

It screams from the core of your heart that something's not going well, the way you had planned so you stop planning. Eventually!

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The unexpressed thoughts are at the threshold of tolerance. They will not make it out. So just gulp it down, with your fear. 

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Experiences mould you, without even letting you know. 

Imagine, you are an empty bucket.  Each experience comes with a  bunch of pouches. Pouches of several different emotions. Eventually with passing time,  these pouches are emptied into your heart.

You aren't aware of it until and unless you don't lift yourself up. When you try to do that, you start realising, you are not ready yet. There is a lot to be taken out. 

You are being brought down by certain things that must be removed. 

"Letting go" is not an option here. You have to restart to see where it actually went wrong. 

This will end one day, you need to hold patience in your palms, cause that is the key. 

Once you are empty, you start organising and refilling it, keeping aside the unnecessary items and getting space for the new ones. Detox is what it is called I guess. 

Don't expect miracles. But believe in your process. Things might change, it may find a new path. 

Just remember to clean your bucket once it is full and before everything just starts to fall apart. 

A moment of retrospection is what is required for doing this. 

So just get some time off, to detox and allow yourself to restart.

Shruti Sawant 🌻